Passive communication
It does not express honest feelings, thoughts and beliefs. Therefore, he allows others to violate his rights. It can also mean that you express thoughts and feelings in the form of an apology or in a coy manner, so that others are easily ignored.
VERBAL CHARACTERISTICS
- Long confusing sentences;
- Prevails;
- Hesitant, full of pauses;
- Clears throat frequently;
- Apologizes inappropriately in a low, uncertain voice;
- Use phrases like: "If it wouldn't be too much trouble...";
- Intersperse the words with: “maybe”, “eeeeee, ”uuuum”, “type”;
- Voice often dull and monotonous;
- Tone may sound like a sing-song or whine;
- Too soft or too warm/friendly;
- Very often abandons;
- Frequently makes excuses, for example: “Normally I wouldn't say anything”;
- Apologizes, “Sorry to bother you”;
- Qualification, “it's just my opinion” or “I could be wrong”;
- Self-limiting, “It's not important,” “It doesn't really matter”;
- He throws himself down, “I'm useless…..hopeless” or “You know me…”;
NON-VERBAL CHARACTERISTICS
- Looks away or down;
- Posture may be slouched;
- Wrings his hands;
- Winks or laughs when expressing anger;
- Covers his mouth with his hands;
- Crosses his arms to protect himself;
- Smiles fakely when expressing anger or being criticized;
- Raise your eyebrows early;
- Jaw trembles;
- Bites his lips;
STYLE OF THOUGHT/WAY OF THINKING
- “I don't count”;
- “My feelings, needs and thoughts are less important than yours”;
- “People will think badly of me or won't like me”;
- “If I say no I could disturb/disturb someone, I would be responsible for having disturbed them”.
Aggressive communication
Assertes personal rights and expresses thoughts, feelings and beliefs in a manner that is usually inappropriate and always violates the rights of others;
People often feel devastated, shocked by the encounter with an aggressive person, in fact superiority is maintained by tearing others down;
When threatened it attacks;
VERBAL CHARACTERISTICS
- Striking, sarcastic, or condescending voice;
- Fluent, with little hesitation;
- Often abrupt, cutting;
- Often fast;
- Emphasizes words that blame;
- Firm voice;
- Sarcastic, cold, harsh tone of voice;
- Voice may be strident, often shouting, increasing towards the end;
- Use threats, for example: “You better be careful”, “If you don't…”;
- Throw out, “You're kidding…” or “Don't be so stupid…”;
- Makes evaluative comments, emphasizes concepts such as: “should/should”, “bad”, “must”;
- Sexist, racist remarks;
- Very modest, “I don't have problems like you”;
- Opinions are expressed as facts, “No one wants to behave like this”, “it's a useless way of doing it”;
- Asks threatening questions, “Haven't you finished it yet?”, “Why did you do it like that?”;
NON-VERBAL CHARACTERISTICS
- Invades the personal space of others;
- Stare at others until they lower their gaze;
- Makes gestures such as pointing or clenching fists;
- Walk around impatiently;
- Stands tilted forward or overhead;
- Arms crossed (unapproachable);
- Smile can become a grin;
- Frowns his eyebrows when he gets angry;
- Stiff jaws;
STYLE OF THOUGHT
- “I'll screw you before you have a chance”;
- “I am number one”;
- “The world is a battlefield and I am here to win”.
Assertive communication
Way of communicating one's feelings, thoughts and beliefs in an open, honest and polite manner without violating the rights of others. It is an alternative to being aggressive where the rights of others are violated and to being passive where the rights violated are one's own;
VERBAL CHARACTERISTICS
- Relaxed and firm voice;
- Few hesitations, fluent;
- Stable, even the rhythm;
- The tone is medium, rich and warm;
- Sincere and clear;
- Not too loud or soft;
- Voice appropriately loud for the situation;
- “I” statements (“I like”, “I want”, “I don't like”) short and straight to the point;
- Cooperative phrases, for example “What do you think about this?”;
- Emphatic statements of interest, “I would like to…”;
- Distinction between facts and opinions, “My experience is different”;
- Proposals without: “I should”, such as: “How about…”, “Would you like…”;
- Blame-free constructive criticism, “It irritates me when you interrupt me”;
- Seek the opinion of others;
NON-VERBAL CHARACTERISTICS
- Receptive listening;
- Maintains eye contact without staring;
- Upright, balanced and open body position;
- Open hand movements;
- He smiles when he is happy;
- Frowning when angry;
- Regular features;
- Relaxed jaw;
STYLE OF THOUGHT
- “I will not let you take advantage of me and I will not attack you for being who you are.”